A Social Experiement

This is a small bit of humor from a small social experiment I conducted :)

A few years ago, I was tasked with generating a weekly report in bullet form detailing my accomplishments.  To help determine if they were being read, I decided to add one "special" bullet to each report about my project, TZ (my immediate boss was in on the joke).  I kept it up for several months. These are what I included:

• Began preliminary dialog addressing advanced transformative TZ electroweak symmetry breaking for quantum information transference. After detailed analysis of TZ using volumetric interpretation to analyze the possibility of quantum quench of the primary loop, a covariant derivative was considered as a potential long-to-medium range solution.
• Continued dialog addressing advanced transformative TZ electroweak symmetry breaking for quantum information transference. Utilized the covariant derivative to optimize the transference in accordance with scalar O(n) gauge theory and to verify that the Lagrangian is invariant under the transformation.
• Continued advancing activities related to the dialog addressing advanced transformative TZ electroweak symmetry breaking for quantum information transference. Reviewed procedures for adding an extra Higgs field to gauge theory for creating a non-zero mass. This can impact the seamless flow of information transference.
• Began addressing improving seamless flow of information transference using discoveries related to transformative TZ electroweak symmetry breaking for quantum computing via massive scalar Higgs particles. Utilized extensions to the standard model to identify additional elementary scalar bosons (spin-0 particles) in the TZ problem space.
• Thanksgiving:  Began addressing improved information transference utilizing quantum analysis of nucleotide bases obtained using Massively Parallel Signature Sequencing of the Meleagris gallopavo associated with the compressed perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family and wadding incorporating formulation of Crassostrea gigas.
• Continued addressing improved discrete information transference utilizing quantum analysis of nucleotide bases obtained using Massively Parallel Signature Sequencing. This is being used to identify and quantify transcripts present in test samples, revealing the next four bases for a new round of hybridization to encoders and image acquisition.
• Hanukkah: Continued addressing improved discrete information transference using MPSS and utilizing Olea europaea light sources burning for eight days. The phenolic content is being used to identify and quantify transcripts present in test samples and expedite image acquisition.
• Began analyzing optimizations to discrete information transference through analysis of the sensitivity to initial conditions of multiple dynamical systems. This effort will facilitate analysis of the widely diverging outcomes of the deterministic transference and will utilize recurrence plots and Poincare maps as analytical tools. Optimizations to the transference will reduce the chaotic behavior of the chaotic dynamics of the topologically mixing within the TZ system.
• Yultide, Christmas, 12/21/2010 lunar eclipse: Continued analyzing optimizations to discrete information transference through analysis of optical properties of the fruma jiuleis total penumbral event and avoided noise due to lycanthropy.    
• New Year: Continued analyzing optimizations to discrete information transference through analysis of optical properties of the 23M descent of the lechatelierite orb at the interval U+5h.   

• Began prototyping a transition from bradyons to tachyons to improve discrete information transference. Tachyonic fields are being investigated to reduce the probability of theorized causality violation described by the mathematics of simultaneity in standard relativity. These help with the spontaneous symmetry breaking in the unstable field vacuum.
• Lee-Jackson Day:  Began evaluating methods of compensation for drift of UT1 as determined by very long baseline interferometry resulting in difficulties of the measurements of transactions during discrete information transference. Analyzed the Lee-Jackson effects on these measurements as processed through a Lee Jackson tube amplifier system with carefully controlled distortion.
• NanoSail D:  Continued evaluating methods of compensation for drift of UT1 by analyzing the orbital elements for NS-D and decoding the 437.270 MHz beacon. Distortions in the LJ techniques resulted in difficulties of the measurements of transactions during discrete information transference.
• Bahamas:  Continued evaluating methods of UTC1 drift compensation for ship-based systems in the baja mar. If these system avoid violations of the UNCLOS by private parties, we plan on additional testing when units are returned from the islands previously occupied by the Lucayans. These activities should improve the discrete information transference.

Note that Wikipedia is your friend!  You can find all types of very interesting things like notes on finding the Higgs at the LHC or on lycanthropy!

Enjoy!